Midnight musing

There are words within me that beg to be spoken
like wine from a cup that is yet unbroken
a call to arms for the child of hope and
misery to wake.

There are fears in my heart that beat like thunder
pound in my ears a shifting mutter
no rest for the blood in my veins to slow
and cool.

This world is a pool of wonder and lies
a couple of truths twisted and tried
so I walk through the valley of darkness
with my seething mind.


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Aphrodite

Aphrodite
singing softly
nothing but love songs in my ear
I’ve had dreams
every night for a year, now.
There is no blue but
the blue of his eyes
across the waters
across the skies
my hands are empty.

Aphrodite sings sorrow to me
a thousand years of love gone sour
no arrow to pierce this heart
now cold, now hard.

Aphrodite guide my pen
let me sing of love again
let me hear his words to me
even if only in my dreams.


Frog Storms

If I’ve never told you how much I love frogs
I guess it wasn’t raining.

I guess there weren’t little green amphibians
pressing themselves into the muddy grass
dancing away in the rain
looking for something they couldn’t explain.

I really like frogs.
I like toads too.

If you look through my old pictures on my iDevice
you’ll find a horrible picture of me and a toad
probably long dead and gone
I tried to kiss him.
He left quickly.

I guess I was never meant to be a princess.

If I’ve never told you how much I love frogs
you should ask me sometime.

Sometime when the rain is falling
and the tadpoles have grown legs
when we are dancing in the rain
and I know the words to explain.


Mocking Bird

hush little baby don’t say a word

papa’s gonna buy you a mocking bird

and maybe that little birdie won’t sing

and maybe there won’t be any diamond rings

maybe it’ll stare at you from the shelf

and maybe you’ll have nightmares with no one to help

but if you just hush now, and don’t say a word

maybe, just maybe, you won’t get hurt.

maybe, just maybe papa will care

maybe your mama will stroke your hair

maybe someone will buy you a ring

maybe you’ll have reasons to sing

but only, only, if you don’t say a word

then papa will buy you that mocking bird.

and that bird will cry in the middle of the night

and that bird wants to fly but your hands are too tight

there’s nowhere outside to build it a nest

nowhere inside for its small head to rest

but hush little darling, and don’t say a word

your papa will buy you a mocking bird.


you know when you’re crying?

and it’s like, shit, I mean, crap, I wasn’t going to do this

It’s not a big deal

but it is 

I’ll get over it

And you will

but right now it’s just this crushing disappointment

you didn’t expect to have

and the knowledge that you’ve failed again

and maybe it’s just who you are

because all your life

failure is the one constant.

 

(I was never talking to you

this was always about me, my dear)

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Look like shit and feel like it
That’s how we roll and how we live
And I don’t know if you understand
But I would kill to hold your hand
I don’t know if you feel
The words I whisper when your still
Hand holds mine and the world slows
Panic fades and green grass grows
Breathe a little deeper
Don’t let go
I’m not crying if you notice
Tears on my face do naught but slow us
And you can’t feel my songs of pain
So I’ll whisper to you
As you fall asleep
All my secrets you unknowingly keep
Safe in your dreams and your thoughts and your arms
Take my words
They cause me harm.

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