Calling all strangers,
Calling all friends,
Calling all peoples
to emotions end.
Calling a stop to the tears on my face,
Calling a stop to my heart and its race
Calling a stop to love and to hate
Calling a stop to dreams and to fate.
I’ve had enough.
It’s over, I’m done.
I’m giving up the ghost of a smile
Saying goodbye to you for a while
Hanging up on your call
and giving away
All the letters you’ve sent
and the words that you say.
I’m leaving, I’m running,
I’m burning down
All the hopes that you’ve built up,
and left standing alone
I’m burning them,
Tearing them down to the ground.
Destruction is all that I want and I need
Because anything living only succeeds
In giving me dreams that turn into dust
So I’m killing them all because I must
to keep myself safe from your lies and your touch.
Maybe my lies are just a disguise,
no, a compromise of
the part of myself
that I despise
It’s a mask that was given the task
to protect my weakness;
For I lack the strength,
I cannot take bullets,
My armor is not that of a tank:
Rather I flank and dodge and lie,
so sometimes I cry,
as I sit at home
Wishing I could speak only truth,
but what good would that do me
You cry foul and weakness
loss and despair
You tell me that you lie to protect
–that you care–
You claim all this is
a shield over your soul
And that these words that kill me
are what keep you whole.
Oh, they’ll keep you holey;
they’ll tear you to shreds!
They’ll rip out your soul
and they’ll leave you for dead.
You ask me what good
the truth could ever do…
Well, speak it for once
and you’ll see it in plain view!
It heals and it cleanses,
it washes away
all the bruises and sorrows,
and dirt and disdain;
And while this destruction
comes with a price,
It’s worth it.
For only then can new life
grow in the ashes of feelings destroyed
As music can only be heard
in an absence of noise.
The truth shall be heard.
But I am not one who people observe,
nor do I deserve the pleasure
of telling the truth,
Because all my lies do is kill my aching soul
I lose control
the more I push and pull;
I throw people away
and then they start to play
a vile game with my heart
It gets ripped apart,
so I hide behind the mask:
Forgiveness is all that I ask.
But how can I forgive
when all the heart in me
has been ripped out of my chest
and all the feelings I have
have been left for dead;
Lying alone in the soles of my feet
and decaying slowly into dirt
While flowers of hate grow into weeds
and darkness fills the air that I breath
And the disease that killed you infects me
Filling my organs with pus and blood
and turning me into someone else
Someone, something with a murderous bent
and motives clear as mud.
Then you can have my heart,
I have no need,
I have lost all feelings,
and have taken evil seed.
I can do nothing good
Except replace your heart,
the one I broke,
with a very cruel joke.
And I want your heart?
I don’t know;
It’s a good deal–
You break it,
You buy it.
I need your corrupt, broken, dirty heart?
I need the disease that already runs through your veins in mine?
I want more of the hurt, and the pain, and the tears?
I’ve had enough of it, over these years.
All I want is a way out,
an escape hatch,
A way to be free,
An inoculation from you and from me
A different perception,
A new way of life.
To leave myself behind
and to find a soul that is clean, and new;
but most of all,
My heart is the last sacred place that I have.
There is no where else to escape to:
For me to give my only heart to you
The last good piece of myself will die;
Depending on what you choose to do.
It depends on you.